Surrender

Day 8: Surrender

I have always been what I jokingly refer to as a "control enthusiast". Maybe not quite a freak about control, but probably more serious an issue than my "enthusiasm" jokes would let you believe. Traumas at a young age led to eating disorders, attachment, abandonment, and trust issues. None of that is special or unique to me. It is all textbook, yet that textbook can contain a world of pain inside its pages.

This photo is me face down on the floor, announcing to myself and everyone else that 2017 will be the year I surrender. I will surrender my control, my need for control, and the issues that made me desperately believe I needed the control in the first place. Life is a series of obstacles, ups and downs, traumas and miracles, love and loss. It will happen with me or without me, and with my consent or without it. I do not need to give life permission to happen, but I need to give myself permission to allow that life to happen. No expectations, no need to control or change outcomes. I am a survivor, not a victim. A humble witness. I surrender.