Supporting Friends

I bought this amazing piece yesterday from my friend (and sometime teacher Tammy Hennessy). I love it so much and can't wait to hang it!! 

(Her pieces would still be a bargain at twice the price, so please check her out if you are looking for a piece of art and you can tell her I sent you!!)

Serenity

I worked on several different paintings today and kind of felt cranky about them, so I sat down and painted some serenity into my life. This Buddha isn't finished yet but I needed it!

Note to Self

Usually when we say we can't do something, what we mean is that we won't do something unless we can guarantee that we'll do it perfectly. 

But no! The bad shit is NECESSARY! Anything worth doing is worth doing BADLY! And once we accept that things can be worth doing badly, our options widen. "If I didn't have to do it perfectly, I might try..."

The Gunslinger

Spent a good 15-20 minutes trying to convince Luke that he should read The Dark Tower series today. I did not succeed in that quest but along the way I met my old friend nostalgia, got super excited about the story again, and so here I sit, cracking open Book 1 for my 4th trip into that world. I can't wait. 

My Vision Quest

Last weekend I went on a Vision Quest with artist, teacher, mentor Whitney Freya at my local home away from home art studio Art More Place.. the entire thing was just so magical and amazing that I have been trying for a full week to come up with some words to describe it.. any words.. I just can't do it.

I finally just decided that none would be right. To meet Whitney is to fall in love with her. To paint with her is to learn to fall in love with yourself.

I do not have good words to describe any of this. But I will try to show you the steps I took on my canvas along the way..

The first layer was all water. Beautiful blues and purples and teals, around and around in a flowing circle, om symbol at the center. I joked that I could take it home as is and hang it up because I loved it, but also said that I couldn't wait to paint over it (thank you 30 day painting challenge!!)

Layer 2 started with a glaring orange sun stencil which then became yellow and orange and reds all over, continuing in the round, circular pattern I'd started on layer 1. I added black arrows as marks and wrote blood & fire in large bold black letters. This was my invocation of the fire element (and also my 90s Indigo Girls).

Of course I couldn't wait to cover all of this up again!! I next drew circles everywhere and then surrounded them in white, added some black and gray circles - this was my air layer. I then started to turn the painting into an elephant. God, I wanted an elephant so bad! It just wasn't happening, no matter how hard I tried or hoped. Then I hoped she could be a deer.. She wasn't a deer. Others suggested a fox, maybe she could be a cat? I added some more black arrows around and around while I hoped and waited for some guidance, maybe some divine inspiration. Finally walked away and quickly looked back at my canvas and realized she was an aardvark. FINE, she can be an aardvark. This was the end of Day 2, and we left the studio for dinner, and I left an aardvark on my canvas.

Day 3 - I woke up down, headachy, sad, not really sure where to go with my painting or if I'd even want to, which was so unlike the energy I'd had and felt the day before. I moped around a bit, and Dave even said "Isn't this the opposite of how you're supposed to feel? Aren't you missing the entire point of the workshop?"

I finally decided to just get in the shower. While in there, I rememered the Rainbow Warrior card I'd drawn the day before - Active Wisdom - which mentioned that I need to calm my reactive energies. I had wanted an ellie SO BADLY that my reaction to that want was to be down about what DID show up. As I washed my hair I thought about what an aardvark means as a totem or spirit animal - the answers lie beneath, right? Keep digging, right? Thinking about it I realized that I hadn't invoked any element of earth at all. I'd forgotten the original flow and energy of my round, circular pattern. Realized I'd used almost no green. I'd forgotten all of those arrows I'd drawn around and around.

Suddenly I had an idea of where to go .. serenity. 

Calm the lotus mind. 

Round and round.

Like a drishti.

A yantra.